I was in the club last night, despite not DJing and really feeling like I should have just had a quiet Saturday night in for a change. The guest DJ was playing hard electro stuff, which I just wasn't in the mood for, and she'd brought a lot of her "electro-clash posse" friends in for her set, and the place didn't really feel..."Dominion-y", you know? So anyway, I wasn't really drinking and I wasn't feeling sociable, so I was hoping to just dance, but that wasn't happening - the music was fine, but it just wasn't doing it for me at that point in time.
Anyway, later on, guest set over, O's back on decks, back to the "normal" music...still wasn't really feeling it, so I went outside for a smoke, which turned into 3 smokes, which turned into being tempted to go home early, despite meeting up with one of the few people I felt like talking to...came back into the club, vaguely tempted to fetch my coat and split, when O (bless her) played "This Shit Will Fuck You Up".
Cue me *barging* past people to get to the dancefloor, thinking "hey, maybe it'll be a good night after all", dancing my little cotton socks off, when about halfway through the song I kind of just stopped dead, and out of nowhere came the thought: "Fuck, I wish Kat was here now..."
Maybe as far as "triggers" go, it might not be the most flattering ;P, but I just thought I'd share it anyway...
"The feeling is always there. if i focus on it, it makes me cry, knowing i just can't be a part of all the lives i want to be a part of." - I know exactly how you feel, and I have to try really fucking hard these days not to focus on it, especially where some people are concerned...the past seems to telescope out far behind me, and the present and the future merge into a little infinitely small space where there's no space, no movement, no progress...meh.
In summary (after an overly long ramble): miss you...*squish*
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 03:28 pm (UTC)I was in the club last night, despite not DJing and really feeling like I should have just had a quiet Saturday night in for a change. The guest DJ was playing hard electro stuff, which I just wasn't in the mood for, and she'd brought a lot of her "electro-clash posse" friends in for her set, and the place didn't really feel..."Dominion-y", you know? So anyway, I wasn't really drinking and I wasn't feeling sociable, so I was hoping to just dance, but that wasn't happening - the music was fine, but it just wasn't doing it for me at that point in time.
Anyway, later on, guest set over, O's back on decks, back to the "normal" music...still wasn't really feeling it, so I went outside for a smoke, which turned into 3 smokes, which turned into being tempted to go home early, despite meeting up with one of the few people I felt like talking to...came back into the club, vaguely tempted to fetch my coat and split, when O (bless her) played "This Shit Will Fuck You Up".
Cue me *barging* past people to get to the dancefloor, thinking "hey, maybe it'll be a good night after all", dancing my little cotton socks off, when about halfway through the song I kind of just stopped dead, and out of nowhere came the thought: "Fuck, I wish Kat was here now..."
Maybe as far as "triggers" go, it might not be the most flattering ;P, but I just thought I'd share it anyway...
"The feeling is always there. if i focus on it, it makes me cry, knowing i just can't be a part of all the lives i want to be a part of." - I know exactly how you feel, and I have to try really fucking hard these days not to focus on it, especially where some people are concerned...the past seems to telescope out far behind me, and the present and the future merge into a little infinitely small space where there's no space, no movement, no progress...meh.
In summary (after an overly long ramble): miss you...*squish*